The two week wait was a doozy. I headed to NYC for volunteer work, which gave me something to take my mind off of things. Ironically, the ivf meds give you the same symptoms as pregnancy. Morning sickness (well... for me, it was 2p sickness every day), cravings (yuummmm... chicken!), and tiredness (soooooo tired!). It really messes with your psyche... trying to convince yourself that you aren't pregnant, while holding on to hope that you are.
It turned out that the latter was true. No baby this time around.
For now, we'll just let my body recover and then decide what to do next.
Monday, April 2, 2018
Day 12/13: Roller Coaster
Todays brings a totally unexpected plot twist. It turns out that I ovulated through the meds. 'Unheard of!' they say. Well... this super ovulater proved them wrong. The big dip in the numbers meant that we lost a strong follicle and set the timing of my uterine lining off in the wrong direction.
Decision time: we can go forward with the cycle as planned. Best case scenario, we'll likely end up with one, maybe two embryos. The odds aren't in our favor. A second option would be to convert to iui. The chance that it would take is pretty low; if it does, the risk of multiples (3+) is high. Hmmmm.... what to do?!
Just to throw one more kink in the plan... if we go with iui, we can't use the sperm that is in the freezer. If we want to keep our options open, we need to dive into crisis mode, choose a new baby daddy, order sperm for rush shipment, and then decide what to do. Previously sperm selections took hours... days, even. This one would have to be done in less than two hours. We take a quick look back at our top picks, filter them for the iui eligible goods, and make a quick decision.
We decide to go for the iui and hold off on ivf for now. We schedule the appointment, rub our fertility goddess, and go for it. Now, the dreaded two week wait...
Day 10 / 11 Check in: Jumpy Numbers
Yesterday, H and I returned to the doctor for our day 10 check in. Everything went as planned... follicles developing, uterine lining looking good. Lefty was hiding, but has been an over performer all along. Righty had joined the party with several large follicles. Feeling confident, we decided to go ahead and purchase more meds ahead of the blood work results since we didn't plan on being on the side of town where the pharmacy is located.
Reality check: anything can happen. Our ivf nurse Pam called after lunch. Estradiol dropped. Rather than the 800 - 1000+ that we were expecting, it had gone in the wrong direction and is now sitting at 270. What does this mean? How could we have developing follicles and dropping estradiol. The two things contradict each other. We felt absolutely deflated.
Pam booked a follow up appointment for the next day (today, as I am writing). She encouraged us to keep taking the meds, and say a little prayer. Throughout the evening, I could feel my ovaries continuing to swell. By dinner, I could barely find a comfortable position at the table. Everything on the front side of my body is sore and swollen.
I went to bed last night preparing myself for the potential of a cancelled cycle. At the same time, feeling perplexed at what my body was telling me. Cautiously optimistic, I tried to get some rest before this morning's appointment.
Today was interesting. If my levels are dropping, we would likely see shrinking or stalled follicles. Thankfully, this is not the case! On both sides, my follicles look great. Hmmmm.... even the doctor is a bit confused. We speculate that maybe there was a mix up with the blood work or an error in the lab, but know that it is unlikely. Only time will tell...
Reality check: anything can happen. Our ivf nurse Pam called after lunch. Estradiol dropped. Rather than the 800 - 1000+ that we were expecting, it had gone in the wrong direction and is now sitting at 270. What does this mean? How could we have developing follicles and dropping estradiol. The two things contradict each other. We felt absolutely deflated.
Pam booked a follow up appointment for the next day (today, as I am writing). She encouraged us to keep taking the meds, and say a little prayer. Throughout the evening, I could feel my ovaries continuing to swell. By dinner, I could barely find a comfortable position at the table. Everything on the front side of my body is sore and swollen.
I went to bed last night preparing myself for the potential of a cancelled cycle. At the same time, feeling perplexed at what my body was telling me. Cautiously optimistic, I tried to get some rest before this morning's appointment.
Today was interesting. If my levels are dropping, we would likely see shrinking or stalled follicles. Thankfully, this is not the case! On both sides, my follicles look great. Hmmmm.... even the doctor is a bit confused. We speculate that maybe there was a mix up with the blood work or an error in the lab, but know that it is unlikely. Only time will tell...
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Day 7 Check-in: Follicles Growing!
Yesterday was our Day 7 check-in with the baby doctor. Still not there yet, but the follicles are growing!
As soon as we see the ultrasound, it's an immediate difference. My ovaries look kind of like a honeycomb, full of nicely developing little caverns. There's still one big one, measuring around 17mm now. We're hoping that another 8 - 10 catch up.
Estrogen levels are rising... today's number is 405. I'm also starting to feel the ovaries stretching, which is a welcome but not so comfortable side effect. It kind of always feels like I've just eaten a big meal. I feel full, and am a little swollen. The mirror doesn't lie, and neither do my jeans!
It's getting harder and harder to stay out of the numerous chat rooms. With every new thing that my body does, I'm tempted to google.
And the ever growing pharmacy is taking over my kitchen.
The truth is that we won't know until we know. We're expecting egg retrieval to happen between Wednesday and Friday of this week. We'll just have to wait and see if enough follicles develop at the right time. Fingers crossed!
As soon as we see the ultrasound, it's an immediate difference. My ovaries look kind of like a honeycomb, full of nicely developing little caverns. There's still one big one, measuring around 17mm now. We're hoping that another 8 - 10 catch up.
Estrogen levels are rising... today's number is 405. I'm also starting to feel the ovaries stretching, which is a welcome but not so comfortable side effect. It kind of always feels like I've just eaten a big meal. I feel full, and am a little swollen. The mirror doesn't lie, and neither do my jeans!
It's getting harder and harder to stay out of the numerous chat rooms. With every new thing that my body does, I'm tempted to google.
And the ever growing pharmacy is taking over my kitchen.
The truth is that we won't know until we know. We're expecting egg retrieval to happen between Wednesday and Friday of this week. We'll just have to wait and see if enough follicles develop at the right time. Fingers crossed!
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Day 3 Check-in
Three days into the meds, I return to the office for another ultrasound and a round of blood work. Our doctor doesn't expect to see much yet.
Our goal: see a nice group of follicles starting to develop at roughly the same pace.
The ultrasound reveals that my 10 follicles have grown slightly, but not much. Happily, they are developing at the same pace, except for one large follicle that is sitting at around 11 mm. It's amazing. I usually can't really see what the doc sees on the blurry image, but this one stands out loud and clear. It looks like a dark hollow cavity. In reality, it's the fluid building up that will allow us to retrieve the egg.
All is looking good, but the doc suspects that we will want to bump up the meds. I might also need to start cetrotide before I see her next. Cetrotide is a med that prevents me from ovulating, so that the large developing follicles stay put without releasing any eggs.
We've gotten our routing down. Early morning doctor visit, then hang out around the corner at Starbucks while we work and wait for the nurse to call. In the afternoon, I finally hear from Pam. We indeed need to bump up the meds. Tonight, I'll increase to 300iu follistim and 300iu menopur. Tomorrow, we'll add cetrotide.
Friday, we'll head back to the office to see the results. Hoping that we see 10+ nicely developing follicles, and that the added menopur doesn't sting too much!
Our goal: see a nice group of follicles starting to develop at roughly the same pace.
The ultrasound reveals that my 10 follicles have grown slightly, but not much. Happily, they are developing at the same pace, except for one large follicle that is sitting at around 11 mm. It's amazing. I usually can't really see what the doc sees on the blurry image, but this one stands out loud and clear. It looks like a dark hollow cavity. In reality, it's the fluid building up that will allow us to retrieve the egg.
All is looking good, but the doc suspects that we will want to bump up the meds. I might also need to start cetrotide before I see her next. Cetrotide is a med that prevents me from ovulating, so that the large developing follicles stay put without releasing any eggs.
We've gotten our routing down. Early morning doctor visit, then hang out around the corner at Starbucks while we work and wait for the nurse to call. In the afternoon, I finally hear from Pam. We indeed need to bump up the meds. Tonight, I'll increase to 300iu follistim and 300iu menopur. Tomorrow, we'll add cetrotide.
Friday, we'll head back to the office to see the results. Hoping that we see 10+ nicely developing follicles, and that the added menopur doesn't sting too much!
Monday, February 27, 2017
Started the meds!
Three days ago, we stared a regimen of 300iu of follistim and 150iu of menopur, injected nightly. I've never given myself an injection before. It's strange, to be honest.
Step 1: Mixing
First, you must carefully mix the meds, pulling the syringe in and out of each vial until the perfect cocktail is achieved. This bit is kind of fun... a throw back to my inner mad scientist.
Step 2: Mental Game
The injection is all about the mental game. You stand there, heart racing, cold syringe in hand, trying to convince yourself to jab a one inch needle into your stomach. I went back and forth a few times, even piercing the skin once. I finally gave up. It's counter intuitive, and, rather than fighting it, we came up with a new plan.
Rather than jabbing myself with the needle, I let my wife do it. After all, she's has more experience than me. True, it was mostly on animals, but I figured it's more than me.
I turn the needle over to her. It's till a bit of a dance. I pick the spot and pinch my stomach with one hand, while squeezing her shoulder with the other. The right side isn't that bad. The left side stings like crazy. Not looking forward to tomorrow when we have to go back to lefty:/
Step 3: The Dance
I decided that the best way to get through the madness of injections and hormones is to dance it out. It helps release nervous energy and takes my mind off of the left side sting! So... after the injection, we dance it out in the kitchen. My wife is awesome. She always joins in.
Tomorrow we go back to the baby doctor to find out how things are going, adjust meds, etc. Fingers crossed that all is heading in the right direction.
Step 1: Mixing
First, you must carefully mix the meds, pulling the syringe in and out of each vial until the perfect cocktail is achieved. This bit is kind of fun... a throw back to my inner mad scientist.
Step 2: Mental Game
The injection is all about the mental game. You stand there, heart racing, cold syringe in hand, trying to convince yourself to jab a one inch needle into your stomach. I went back and forth a few times, even piercing the skin once. I finally gave up. It's counter intuitive, and, rather than fighting it, we came up with a new plan.
Rather than jabbing myself with the needle, I let my wife do it. After all, she's has more experience than me. True, it was mostly on animals, but I figured it's more than me.
I turn the needle over to her. It's till a bit of a dance. I pick the spot and pinch my stomach with one hand, while squeezing her shoulder with the other. The right side isn't that bad. The left side stings like crazy. Not looking forward to tomorrow when we have to go back to lefty:/
Step 3: The Dance
I decided that the best way to get through the madness of injections and hormones is to dance it out. It helps release nervous energy and takes my mind off of the left side sting! So... after the injection, we dance it out in the kitchen. My wife is awesome. She always joins in.
Tomorrow we go back to the baby doctor to find out how things are going, adjust meds, etc. Fingers crossed that all is heading in the right direction.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Baseline
Today's baseline tells us if this will be the magic month for egg retrieval. I'm not going to lie.. this week has been nerve wracking! When it comes to upping your chances, it's all about egg quality.
For the past two years, I've been on vitamins and supplements to help increase egg quality. We added even more to the mix about a month ago. Our nightstand looks like a pharmacy. At 39, you'll do whatever you can to improve your chances.
To add to the edginess, I've also been on a regimen of birth control this week. It's all about controlling your system so that it will do what we want -- produce a bunch of eggs at once! A few days ago, I started spotting and today I seemed to start a light period. I went in to the doc's office convinced that this wasn't normal. Turns out that it totally is! When you stop taking the pill and the hormones drop, it causes a period. Menses 101... but it's strange since I just had a period 2 weeks ago. Weird.
Before starting the hormones, the doctor basically wants four things to happen: calm ovaries with a nice group of follicles developing, thin uterine lining, a little bleeding, and the right estrogen level.
The ultrasound reveals calm ovaries and thin lining. We have around 10 follicles measuring 5mm+ and a few more slightly smaller ones that might join the party. We already know about the bleeding. Now just need to see about the estrogen levels. A little blood draw and we are out of the office and heading to the fertility pharmacy.
A few hours later, we get the call -- good to go!!! Tomorrow, I'll start three meds: an antibiotic as a precautionary; follistim (300iu); and menopur (150iu). The follistim and menopur will be mixed up into a little cocktail and injected into my lower abdomen - ouch! I hear it's not as bad as it seems. We will see:)
For the past two years, I've been on vitamins and supplements to help increase egg quality. We added even more to the mix about a month ago. Our nightstand looks like a pharmacy. At 39, you'll do whatever you can to improve your chances.
To add to the edginess, I've also been on a regimen of birth control this week. It's all about controlling your system so that it will do what we want -- produce a bunch of eggs at once! A few days ago, I started spotting and today I seemed to start a light period. I went in to the doc's office convinced that this wasn't normal. Turns out that it totally is! When you stop taking the pill and the hormones drop, it causes a period. Menses 101... but it's strange since I just had a period 2 weeks ago. Weird.
Before starting the hormones, the doctor basically wants four things to happen: calm ovaries with a nice group of follicles developing, thin uterine lining, a little bleeding, and the right estrogen level.
The ultrasound reveals calm ovaries and thin lining. We have around 10 follicles measuring 5mm+ and a few more slightly smaller ones that might join the party. We already know about the bleeding. Now just need to see about the estrogen levels. A little blood draw and we are out of the office and heading to the fertility pharmacy.
A few hours later, we get the call -- good to go!!! Tomorrow, I'll start three meds: an antibiotic as a precautionary; follistim (300iu); and menopur (150iu). The follistim and menopur will be mixed up into a little cocktail and injected into my lower abdomen - ouch! I hear it's not as bad as it seems. We will see:)
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