Changing Teams

It's time to move forward. After sifting through CDC fertility success rate reports and user reviews on yelp, we've selected a new doctor. We really need a fresh start and this is the first step.

Our first doctor was great - informed, kind, convenient. The practice is multi-office group where you meet with your doctor for consultations, but then receive care from the first available doctor when it comes time treatment. One the one hand, this means that they are available when your body says it's time. This is amazing since your cycle doesn't take time off for holidays or weekends. On the other hand, our doctor never actually performed any of our inseminations. The other doctors were fine, but unfamiliar.

The handling of our miscarriage was most surprising. I assumed that since the staff were so incredibly knowledgable and encouraging about making a baby, that they would also be the same if something went awry. I assumed wrong. I was given very little support beyond basic medical testing requirements. They failed to warn me that that I could become severely dehydrated from blood loss, which my primary care provider and wife helped me through. They didn't even provide a bit of privacy when I came in for blood work over the weeks that would follow. The waiting room was filled with aspiring moms hoping to get a positive pregnancy test; I was waiting for my numbers to drop far enough to confirm that my little sesame seed had passed and would never get to see the light of day.

After the miscarriage, we tried one more iui, which failed. During our next consultation, our doctor advised that we move on to ivf. We needed time. To think, to grieve, to come up with the incredible financial resources required to move forward. While our doctor said that she understood, the accounting department did not. We missed our final payment of $200 and, within a few short weeks, our file was whisked off to collections. I didn't even realized we had a balance. After the thousands of dollars we'd spent, we were turned over to collections for this small oversight, and amidst an incredibly difficult time. The mark on our credit surely will not make it easier to qualify for loans to fund the ivf.

So, here we are two years later. We've spent this time healing. We also had some tough discussions about values and choices, and whether we were prepared to spend so much money on making a baby again, even though there's no guarantee. We've also wondered what life could have been if we had just gone ahead with ivf in the first place. Where would we be? Then, we coped with the realization that you can't go back. You can't wonder. You can only move forward.

So move forward, we did. A year ago we knew that we wanted it, but weren't financially prepared. We have been focusing on career and finances and are ready to move. On Monday, we have an appointment for a consultation with our new doctor, and we can't wait for the adventure ahead!